andyp blogging at elowel.org
Just a day in the life. 07-31-08 22:09
Today while helping my work buddy clean up his new store, we realized that there was a little problem we had to deal with in the back corner: What to do with a 44oz Mcdonald's cup filled to the brim with presumably crack head urine?

Andy:Ok, We're gonna learn a little lesson here about how to deal with a crack head's piss cup

Andy: mumble

Andy: ...one...

Scooter: Dude, I was just wondering something

Andy: (mumble) We'll edit it out*

Scooter: What if that cup was too small, i mean too big for the fuckin tube?

Andy: I dunno, check this out

Scooter: If you spill that, I swear to god I will shank you

Andy: All Right, We're burnt

Andy: AWW There's turds over there too?

Scooter: I told you!

Andy: Fuckin crackheads

Andy: Oh, crackheads in Portland; taking a dump on my store!

*I thought the cameraman was complaining about how long it was taking me to undo the plastic bags

I write this message to people of our generation. Generation Y, millennial, or simply todays young people. Congress, our body of representatives whom swore a duty to defend the constitution have decided to grant retroactive immunity to telecommunication companies for their role in an unconstitutional warrantless wiretapping program.

Article 1, section 9 of the Constitution of the Unites States: ". . .No bill of attainder or ex post facto Law shall be passed. . "

Congressional Oath of Office: "I do solemnly swear (or affirm) that I will support and defend the Constitution of the United States against all enemies, foreign and domestic; that I will bear true faith and allegiance to the same; that I take this obligation freely, without any mental reservation or purpose of evasion; and that I will well and faithfully discharge the duties of the office on which I am about to enter. So help me God."

Now if in the first part of the Constitution it specifically points out that there shall be no retroactive laws, would logic not dictate that a person whom had sworn an oath to defend the constitution would be required to stand up against this?

Our constitution was designed to stand up against tyranny. There is a reason why the Constitution begins with "We the People." The constitution represents the will of our founding fathers, who knew what it was like to deal with tyrants. In order for it to work, however, action must be taken to defend it.

How can we as citizens of a free country sit idly by while our elected leaders deny an oath they swore to us? If your congressman voted yea on the bill that allowed something blatantly against the constitution, then he violated his oath of office. Unfortunately, the oath does not spell out any consequences for breaking it. As people from our generation; millenials, generation y, or just today's young people; we have an opportunity to make sure our voices can be heard. Call your senator today and let them know that we would support them in their opposition to this bill. Hell, Obama is a senator. Let us as young people make it known to our leaders that we do care what they are doing, and we do expect them to keep up to their oath to defend the constitution. Who was the oath promised? We the people. So help them God.


Hyperlink to Contact your senators


School House Rock - How a bill becomes a law


If you like my message, please send it to people. We're all in this together, and if we stand together we can accomplish great things.
Giving in to the CIA 06-02-08 22:04
I cancelled my facebook a while back because I was convinced that it was a CIA program to track us all. I figured today that they already have my info if i signed up once, so I might as well get it going again.

Just don't call me a company man

video proof that i told 05-29-08 23:21
Here's some footage to back up yesterday's post. Mad props to mreberto for editing the video from WMV footage.



Here's what i managed to do with a wmv file on ubuntu. not too professional




Today on my way back to the couve (where I am unfortunately staying for a bit) from work, I noticed a sandwich board proclaiming that a meeting with a congressman was to take place in the Hospital. As soon as that registered in my mind, I hit the turn signal and proceeded to park in what is perhaps the worst parking spot I have ever seen, but I digress.

On my way in, I asked a security guard if the Congress thing was this way, and after he replied yes, I informed him that I was going to ask him to impeach the president, which got me a look of affirmation.

I signed my name and address in the registrar (hey, I'm probably on a secret list now) and continued into the conference room. about 60 chairs were lined up facing a row of desks seating nine people, one of whom was Brian Baird (D-WA.) Among others on the panel were the CEO of southwestern Washington medical center, a psychologist whom seemed to have a personal relationship with the congressman, a CEO of a small local recycling company, some jerk from Kaiser Permanente, and the board of directors for the southwestern washington free clinic association, among others.

After realizing that I was going to have to wait a bit to get my word out, I sat quietly and prepared my statement in my head. The presentation this evening was about health care. The congressman was there to tell us about the Healthy Americans act, a bill which he had co sponsored with Ron Wyden of Oregon, and some republicans from Tennessee. After watching the most shoddily designed powerpoint presentation I've seen since my own back in grade nine, the panel all had something to say, culminating in some closing remarks from the congressman. I won't go into too much detail about the health plan, except that it seems to make everyone get health insurance, then subsidize those whom cannot afford it.

I finally had my chance to raise a question, and I took initiative to stand first. I was asked to the microphone in the center of the room by Mr Baird. I told him that when I saw the sandwich board outside offering an ordinary (subject to debate) guy like myself a chance to look a congressman in the eye, I could not pass up my opportunity to tell you to impeach the president of the united states.

He seemed mildly stunned that the first question that anybody had was more of a statement. He dismissed my remark, saying that we could spend all night debating that subject, and that this evenings discussions were about health care. He thanked me for my remark, and told me it had been registered.

I proceeded to leave, telling him that's all I had to say. A nice old lady in the audience gave me thanks for bringing it up, and I got some thumbs up. I resisted my chance to call that congressman a traitor to the constitution which he had sworn a duty to uphold, and decided to leave without getting escorted by security.

All in all, I'm sure I will have made little or no impact on the effort to actually get the president impeached, but it felt damn good to look one of our so called representatives square in the eye and tell him to do his damn job.

The first thing I did after leaving was call max, explaining the story, then make a six point maneuver from hell to vacate the poorly designed parking space in which I had left my car.
out of exile 04-09-08 00:02
Salutations! I am returning to elowel with a request;

I am going to get a tattoo of the earth on my lower left arm. I am seeking the help of the artists in designing the tattoo.

I've heard some pretty good things about the artists on here from max, so if you want to have your design on my arm, please put something together and let me see it.

Ill look forward to seeing what replies I get.
removed for posterity 05-05-05 15:50
put this past me, no longer want it on the internet
Humor column 04-22-05 11:20
Humor column
April 22 05
Andy Peterson

Humor is a funny thing. It comes to some of us naturally, and others cannot seem to grasp. There is universal humor, which damn near everyone can find funny, and then there’s the more specialized humor, which only someone willing to listen to the ramblings or a crazy man can enjoy. Fortunately for me, many of you, the students of Putnam are willing to listen to the rants and raves of a guy like me. The only thing stopping me from being a crazy old man is that I’m 18 and just haven’t been around long enough to have the stories like they do. Here’s a list of funny things that I expect I will be able to tell grandchildren about, or at least yell at kids who come onto my lawn to get baseballs and Frisbees.

1) Road trip involving terrorizing the locals.

At some point, my roommate and I plan to go on a cross-country road trip. Along the way, various crazy ideas for confusing or upsetting the people we see have come up. Such as going into trucker bars and such dressed head to toe in full out 70’s polyester suits complete with fake jewelry and disco lingo. Imagine the scene: everyone’s favorite humor columnist and his scary looking roommate dressed as complete morons bothering a bunch of hard core truckers somewhere in Montana or Iowa or somewhere. Armed with a roll of quarters, the sole goal would be to highjack the jukebox, knock over a few beers, and then tell the barkeep he’s uglier than one of the trucker’s mothers, then make a mad dash to the parking lot.

All I can say is I hope I learn some self defense.

2) Pulling one over on Judge Mathis

I owe a friend of mine about $800. We’ve discussed pretending to be upset about that and going on a TV court show to settle the differences. Those shows aren’t real courts in the traditional sense. The judges are real judges, but in their TV jobs, they don’t represent the US government, but the WB network or other such daytime channels. The judge agrees to follow the law, and the plaintiffs and defendants sign a paper agreeing that they cannot contest the ruling of the judge or bring the matter up in a real court. Each person on the show receives a salary, and any judgments are deducted from the loser’s cut and given to the winner. That means that nobody’s out money and you get a free trip to somewhere exotic, like Chicago. Now part of our deal would be that I act like a complete ass to guarantee that he would win, and that we can only go on Mathis. Anyone who spends as much time at home during the day as I do can tell you that Mathis has the best BS detector. My BS being detected, which it would, would in effect wipe away a large debt, and all we’d have to do is pretend to hate each other for a half hour.

I sometimes wonder what I could think of if I directed these kinds of thoughts into more productive arenas.

It’s been recently found out that a lot of people discuss what the next crazy thing I do will be. There’s a pretty good spread on whether or not I will go somewhere to smoke a cigarette within the next 15 minutes, which usually pans out. I’d say that anyone betting on my craziness should just wait for one of these things to happen, because one way or the other, I’ll end up in a bar fight or on a cable court show. The reasons behind these are speculation on my part, but based on past experience they seem likely.

removed for posterity 04-21-05 18:06
put this past me, no longer want it online
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